CUDA 13 requires C++ 17

[njzjz]

Describe the bug

CMake only sets CMAKE_CUDA_STANDARD to 14, and it cannot be overridden, leading to the following error:

/home/conda/feedstock_root/build_artifacts/abacus_1764559181076/_h_env_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_placehold_plac/targets/x86_64-linux/include/cccl/thrust/detail/config/cpp_dialect.h:78:6: error: #error Thrust requires at least C++17. Define CCCL_IGNORE_DEPRECATED_CPP_DIALECT to suppress this message.
   78 | #    error Thrust requires at least C++17. Define CCCL_IGNORE_DEPRECATED_CPP_DIALECT to suppress this message.
      |      ^~~~~

Expected behavior

Set CMAKE_CUDA_STANDARD to 17 for CUDA 13.

Need a fix for both develop and lts.

To Reproduce

See conda-forge/abacus-feedstock#78

Environment

No response

Additional Context

No response

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[ZhouXY-PKU]

We firstly need to make sure that, it can get compiled smoothly without any warnings, with only changes of the CMakeList.txt file.