Rewrite words into order that sense make

proposals/3821-update-redaction-rules-again.md

@@ -1,22 +1,29 @@
 # Update redaction rules, again
 
 The current [redaction algorithm](https://spec.matrix.org/v1.6/rooms/v9/#redactions) are
-still missing some key fields, even after [MSC2176](https://github.com/matrix-org/matrix-spec-proposals/pull/2176)
-attempted to fix some of the obvious cases. This MSC aims to fix more fields.
+still missing some key properties, even after [MSC2176](https://github.com/matrix-org/matrix-spec-proposals/pull/2176)
+attempted to fix some of the obvious cases. This MSC aims to fix those missing cases.
 
 ## Proposal
 
 *Note*: It is recommended to read [MSC2176](https://github.com/matrix-org/matrix-spec-proposals/pull/2176)
 before this proposal as MSC2176 contains a lot of backing context.
 
-In a new room version (due to redactions affecting event hashes):
+In a future room version, the following changes are made to the [redaction algorithm](https://spec.matrix.org/v1.6/rooms/v10/#redactions).
+Note that this requires a new room version because changing the redaction algorithm changes how
+[event IDs](https://spec.matrix.org/v1.6/rooms/v10/#event-ids) are calculated, as they are
+[reference hashes](https://spec.matrix.org/v1.6/server-server-api/#calculating-the-reference-hash-for-an-event)
+which redact the event during calculation.
 
-* `m.room.member` events additionally preserve part of `third_party_invite` under `content`, if present:
-  * Spec: https://spec.matrix.org/v1.6/client-server-api/#mroommember
-  * Under `third_party_invite`, `signed` is preserved. Rationale being that the `signed` block is required
-    for the server to validate the event, however excess fields and `display_name` are not as important.
-    Clients which are trying to represent a redacted `m.room.member` event with `third_party_invite` should
-    not rely on `display_name` being present but rather state "Bob accepted a third party invite" or similar.
+* [`m.room.member`](https://spec.matrix.org/v1.6/client-server-api/#mroommember) events preserve a portion
+  of `third_party_invite` under `content`, if present. Those properties being:
+
+  * `signed`: the block is required for the server to validate the event, however excess adjacent properties
+    such as `display_name` are not important.
+
+Clients should note that because `display_name` is *not* preserved during redaction they might need to change
+how that event is rendered/presented to users. For example, when rendering such a redacted event the client
+might show it as "Bob accepted a third party invite".
 
 ## Unstable prefix